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A collection of essays from Mary Widdicks: writer, humorist, novelist, and former psychologist who can't remember if she fed all her kids this morning.

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Will I Ever Learn?

April 12, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 22 Comments

Will I Ever Learn?

I consider myself to be a fairly quick learner. I’ve memorized the names and faces of every engine from Thomas and Friends, all the cars in Disney’s Cars and Cars 2, about 40 species of dinosaur, and more space facts than I could list here. Keeping up with my three year old is better than [Read more…]

The Naked Truth

March 18, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 29 Comments

The Naked Truth

About a year ago I found myself in a very compromising position.  I was half naked, standing in the changing room at the YMCA, and staring into the horrified face of a man with his four year old daughter.  Wait.  Where am I? Time stopped.  All eyes were on me, and my boobs.  I should [Read more…]

Breakfast Exhaustion Scale

March 2, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 12 Comments

Breakfast Exhaustion Scale

You can tell how much sleep I’ve had by the breakfast I serve my children. When I am fully rested and excited to greet the new day I will serve them perfectly round, golden, blueberry pancakes with fresh squeezed orange juice, farm-fresh uncured bacon, and scrambled eggs. I’ll let you know if that ever happens. [Read more…]

Don’t judge me…

February 26, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 65 Comments

Don’t judge me…

Today I committed a cardinal sin of parenting. What’s worse is I got caught. My son was getting ready for his weekly gym class, which given the weather the last month, is sort of like releasing previously caged animals back into the wild. At first, they’re timid, like they’ve forgotten how to use their legs. [Read more…]

Not my finest moment

February 13, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 8 Comments

Not my finest moment

I yelled at my kid this morning. It was one of those mornings when you wake up from a dream and step into a nightmare. The first thing I heard when I came out of my exhaustion-induced coma was the three year old yelling for daddy from the top of the stairs. This is actually [Read more…]

The Time I (sort of) Dropped the F-bomb At A Play Date

January 29, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 15 Comments

My kids and I listen to music in the car. Sometimes we listen to music together. Other times I use the music to drown out the incessant questions and whining from the back seat.  My kids are both under five years old so until recently I hadn’t given much thought to the content of the music… Until I [Read more…]

Top Five Worst Idle Threats I’ve Had To Follow Through

January 16, 2014 by Mary Widdicks 1 Comment

Top Five Worst Idle Threats I’ve Had To Follow Through

You know that family that sits behind you with the rowdy toddler kicking the back of your seat and the baby reaching over and pulling the hair of the guy next to you?  Well, that was us.  Don’t get me wrong, my kids are usually great travelers, but after twelve hours and two flights that [Read more…]

Top Five Travel Failures (Part 2)

December 31, 2013 by Mary Widdicks 6 Comments

Top Five Travel Failures (Part 2)

Here are the final two of my top five mommy fails while traveling with kids. As my upcoming vacation approaches, I’m not sure if these memories terrify me or give me hope that it can’t be that bad (and even if it IS that bad, it will give me material for future Travel Failure posts). [Read more…]

Top Five Travel Failures (Part 1)

December 30, 2013 by Mary Widdicks 4 Comments

Top Five Travel Failures (Part 1)

It dawned on me this morning that the whole family is leaving for Florida for vacation next week (no, I am NOT complaining). I find that the few times I have lost my mind enough to make travel plans with my kids that it seems like a great idea right up until the week before [Read more…]

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