Recently, my son and I were enjoying an event organized by our local parks district, when I found myself bopping along to some familiar tunes. Obviously, there was a healthy serving of songs from the Frozen soundtrack as well as some more classics. In between Let It Go and Under the Sea I noticed a few contemporary pop songs which had been remixed by a children’s band.
If you haven’t heard of this disturbing phenomenon (lucky you!), it’s called Kidz Bop and you can read a hilarious description of exactly why I hate it HERE.
At the time, I didn’t know any of this and was innocently singing along with the lovely falsetto of a young boy’s voice when suddenly I stopped, frozen (no, not the song this time!).
Did I just hear a six year old sing the line “I want to hear you scream my name?”
I looked around the park to see if anyone else had noticed the very strange juxtaposition of a highly sexual and violent phrase with the syrupy sweet innocence of the voice singing it. No one even batted an eyelid. My son was obliviously picking at grass on the ground next to me.
Had I imagined it? Nope.
The next song that came on was Lips of an Angel by the band Hinder. In case you’re not familiar with the song, it tells the story of a man who never quite got over his ex girlfriend. He’s now in a new relationship, but is singing to his ex about how he still thinks about her and talks to her on the phone secretly while his girl is in the next room.
Well my girl’s in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It’s really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
Personally, I like this song but that doesn’t mean I think it is appropriate for my ten year old to perform at a school function. Like anything else in life, music has to have context. Of course there’s a certain appeal to Hinder’s story of forbidden love, but as a mother, I’d slap my son upside the head if he ever treated a woman like that. Shouldn’t we be surrounding our children with examples of how to behave as adults rather than glorifying the same things that would land our husbands in all sorts of trouble?
The music industry seems to have acquired a free pass when it comes to the corruption of minors. What’s next?
Would you watch these movies? More importantly, would you let your kids?
10 Kids Movie Remakes You’ll Never See
1. Striptease – What little girl doesn’t want a chance to work the pole?
2. The Godfather – Imagine the dramatic tension when the record executive wakes up with a decapitated teddy bear in bed beside him. It would be cinematic gold.
3. Indecent Proposal – What better film could there be to teach your children about the value of a dollar and the price of selling out? It would be both entertaining and educational.
4. Schindler’s List – Nothing says children’s entertainment like Nazis and genocide.
5. Pulp Fiction – How else will your children learn to play “gimp” in the basement?
6. American Psycho – Kids love Huey Lewis and The News and Phil Collins. It’s a match made in heaven.
7. Interview With A Vampire – The vampires could be friendly and sparkly and just want to play baseball and go to school. Wait…haven’t I seen that movie?
8. Game of Thrones – Ok, technically this is not a movie, but wouldn’t the kiddies look so cute beheading each other? Whose lucky six year old would get the honor of playing Joffrey Baratheon? The competition would be fierce.
9. Silence of the Lambs – Kids love sheep…and buffalos. This movie has something for every child: moths and bugs for the boys and lambs and poodles for the girls. It’s a real family pleaser.
10. Seven – What’s in the box?!? It’s your nose! There are so many possibilities for child related humor in this lighthearted film. Plus, it addresses the spiritual education of our children as well as the academic.
Of course, you’ll never see these iconic R-rated movies remade by Kidz Film, the fictitious child acting troop I’ve invented in my mind.
Because they are completely ridiculous, and so is the idea of letting those same children sing Maroon 5’s Moves Like Jagger and twerk on stage. They’re seven, they don’t even have a booty!
It seems to me our culture has severely underestimated the impact of music and language on our children. Is singing about cheating on your spouse or taking drugs any better for the next generation than watching movies about stripping or prostitution?
I’m not a proponent of censorship in the entertainment industry. I love every one of the movies listed above (ok, nobody loves Striptease!), but I do think it’s our responsibility as parents to monitor what influences our children. Just because something is marketed to children doesn’t mean it’s appropriate.
Pay attention, people!