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A collection of essays from Mary Widdicks: writer, humorist, novelist, and former psychologist who can't remember if she fed all her kids this morning.

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Putting A Baby to Bed in 75 Easy Steps

September 25, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 2 Comments

Putting A Baby to Bed in 75 Easy Steps

Sleep experts say a consistent routine for putting your baby to bed is the key to getting your child to fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. These routines can be as simple as telling them the same story each night, putting on their pajamas in a particular room, or singing a familiar lullaby. However, in my home, [Read more…]

What I Learned In My Quest to be The Perfect Mother

August 28, 2016 by Mary Widdicks Leave a Comment

What I Learned In My Quest to be The Perfect Mother

A few years ago, without intention or malice, I joined a cult. Sure, it wasn’t the kind of extremist organization where we dressed all in white, packed our bags, and drank the Kool-Aid. To be honest, Kool-Aid was most definitely NOT allowed. Way too much sugar. What started out as my natural desire to give [Read more…]

Who Needs Condoms When You Have Vomit?

August 14, 2016 by Mary Widdicks Leave a Comment

Who Needs Condoms When You Have Vomit?

Before I had children, many of my most embarrassing moments involved vomit: spewing milk from my nose, barfing on stage during the school musical, getting drunk and throwing up on that cute frat boy. But now that I have three children under five, puke is as much a part of my routine as showering or [Read more…]

How Violence in Professional Sports Is Ruining Games for Kids

July 24, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 1 Comment

How Violence in Professional Sports Is Ruining Games for Kids

Every Sunday morning a familiar scene unfolds in our house: my husband and I pass the baby back and forth across the dining table while we take turns racing through our breakfast and finalizing our fantasy football lineups. Our boys empty the contents of their toy box onto the carpet, their eyes both lock on [Read more…]

When Your Boys Aren’t Babies Anymore

July 10, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 1 Comment

When Your Boys Aren’t Babies Anymore

Do you guys know today’s guest poster Tracey Schaefer?  If not, you should.  She’s a self-proclaimed mommy Jekyll and Hyde, taking care of her two boys by day and bitching about it at night!  I’m guessing most of us can relate to that feeling, especially those of us surrounded by hoards of boys.  She is hilarious and [Read more…]

Six Job Titles For Moms Looking To Pad Their Resume 

June 26, 2016 by Mary Widdicks Leave a Comment

Six Job Titles For Moms Looking To Pad Their Resume 

Being a stay at home mom is a lot like sweatshop labor. We are on duty twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, often with little or no sleep. We are not offered the benefits of vacations, sick days, unions, or employee appreciation days. The one benefit is that for years our positions as [Read more…]

Never Say Never: The Role of Compromising in Parenting

June 12, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 5 Comments

Never Say Never: The Role of Compromising in Parenting

Before I had kids, I used phrases like “My child will never,” “I will always,” and the dreaded “I believe.” I had clear and consistent expectations to which I would hold myself and my children: the definition of an Authoritarian parent. Ultimately, my plans lasted about as long as my attempt at cloth diapering and [Read more…]

A Tale of Two Births: How the U.S. Fails to Deliver Adequate Postpartum Healthcare

May 29, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 5 Comments

A Tale of Two Births: How the U.S. Fails to Deliver Adequate Postpartum Healthcare

My daughter was born on a snowy Saturday morning. We were released from the hospital Monday, and as is the case for most new mothers in the U.S., my husband returned to work the very next day, leaving me alone to care for our newborn daughter and our two- and four-year-old sons. At three days [Read more…]

The Internet Has Given My Children The World

May 15, 2016 by Mary Widdicks Leave a Comment

The Internet Has Given My Children The World

There is a lot of discussion about the dangers of allowing our children too much access to technology. I read articles every day urging me to give my children a 1970s childhood, warning me to unplug them before it’s too late, and relating hundreds of horror stories about stalkers and predators posing as teenagers online. [Read more…]

15 Reasons Why In My Next Life I’ll Have Cats Instead

May 1, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 1 Comment

15 Reasons Why In My Next Life I’ll Have Cats Instead

The Crazy Cat Lady is a comical figure we’ve all encountered, with her wild hair, threadbare clothes, and faint odor of cat urine. You might have passed her in the grocery store with a cart full of liver snaps and Whiskas, or moved in next door to her and received a juicy, headless welcome gift [Read more…]

Why You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Bathing With Your Kids

April 24, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 2 Comments

Why You Shouldn’t Be Ashamed of Bathing With Your Kids

Recently, social media icon Perez Hilton was called everything from a bad father to a child abuser after posting a photo of himself and his son bathing together. The photo appeared on Instagram and showed Hilton from the waist up and his son’s head poking over his shoulder. The boy was completely covered below the neck. The negative backlash spurred debates about whether it’s [Read more…]

Why I Let My Children Talk To Strangers

April 10, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 2 Comments

Why I Let My Children Talk To Strangers

A viral social experiment ignited questions about the safety of young children.  The video depicts a man successfully luring four-year-olds away from their parents with the promise of puppies.  When the parents were interviewed, most responded that their kids would never talk to or leave with someone they didn’t know, even though most of the [Read more…]

How Yoga Can Cure Sinus Pain

March 27, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 1 Comment

How Yoga Can Cure Sinus Pain

Recently I suffered from a sinus and double ear infection that left me shattered and huddled in a dark room reminiscing about how pleasant natural childbirth had been. I tried Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Sudafed, and ritualistic sacrifices, but nothing eased my suffering. I made the rather inconvenient journey to the convenient care center on a Sunday, [Read more…]

Why Moms Would Have Made Great 80s Rockers

March 13, 2016 by Mary Widdicks Leave a Comment

Why Moms Would Have Made Great 80s Rockers

  The 1980s were a time of prosperity and excess, when the classic rock bands of the ’70s took a swan dive into a pool of glitter, made love to the progressive (and androgynous) glam rockers, and popped out a feathered-hair, leather-clad love child known as the hair band. There was nothing practical about Kiss [Read more…]

The Measure of a Mom

February 14, 2016 by Mary Widdicks 4 Comments

The Measure of a Mom

In the last 5 years, my body has grown, housed, and evicted three beautiful children. I’ve nourished them with my breasts, held them in my arms, and smothered them with my kisses. Yet there are still moments when I can’t believe that this is my life. When did I become somebody’s mom? It seems like [Read more…]

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