A New Mom’s Shit List

Shit List

Every new mom has been there at some point: exhausted, hormonal, sweaty, flabby, self-conscious, and probably aching from the vagina. Then out of nowhere, some jerk pushes all your buttons and you lose your cool in a fit of blubbering, cursing, and shooshing…because you probably woke the baby. If you were anything like me, you [Read more…]

Raising a Baby With a Ghost

Ghost

It’s 3:00am. The house is dark, and though the air around me is cold enough to see my breath I am unable to feel the chill. In fact, I wake to find my bed sheets soaked beneath me, the duvet twisted tight around my legs like a vine, and one arm draped awkwardly across the [Read more…]

Why I’d Choose My Husband Over My Fantasies

Fantasies

I’m just going to come right out and say it: I indulge in the occasional fantasy about men other than my husband.  I’ll wait while you digest that Earth-shattering bombshell. Of course, my fantasies are not always hot, steamy, nights of passion and athletic sexual prowess either.  Sometimes I fantasize about Adam Levine vacuuming my [Read more…]

Embracing the Imperfection

Embracing the imperfection

  This is a post I wrote almost a year ago* in the throws of anxiety about whether or not to seek professional advice for my socially delayed three-year-old.  I know this is a decision that a lot of parents out there struggle with so I just wanted to share my experience and let them [Read more…]

Great Boobs Out Challenge 2015 #BoobsOut2015

#BoobsOut2015

Since I am on the precipice of another year of on-demand breast feeding, I’ve decided to use my inevitable public displays of nudity to my advantage and start The Great Boobs Out Challenge of 2015. For anyone who has been reading Outmanned since the beginning (all seven of you!), you might remember my New Year’s [Read more…]

I’m a Grumpy Old Woman

Grumpy Old Woman

  It’s official: I’m old I’m not the type of woman who usually fixates on her increasing age. In fact, in some dark recess of my brain I still believe that I am fresh-faced and twenty-two: slim, athletic, and considered reasonably attractive by members of the opposite sex. It’s a very deep, dark recess. Before [Read more…]

A Nesting Pregnant Woman’s To Do List

Pregnant To Do List

I’ve officially reached the first nesting phase of my pregnancy. I’m no longer so nauseous and tired that I’m satisfied lying prostrate on the sofa while my house falls apart around me. Now I feel the need to prop up my once organized house with my exhausted, ever-expanding body. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this [Read more…]

Infant Safety Training

Guest Photo 1

Today I have a hilarious guest post from the the fabulous Liz from A Mothership Down.  If you thought a subject like infant safety training couldn’t be funny, prepare to be pleasantly surprised…and maybe a little disturbed Don’t forget to head over and check out her blog after finishing this post! My husband Brian and [Read more…]